i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize