I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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