hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
