dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
