you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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