you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
