puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
