Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
