i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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