just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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