I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
