I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
