how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
