That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize