Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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