So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Randomize
