I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
