I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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