oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
