Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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