I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
All I want is dick and wine.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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