Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
