She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
