you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
two words: eviction party
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
