Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
