I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
