ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
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