Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
