I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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