I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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