Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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