She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
