Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
