He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
