I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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