My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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