guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
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just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
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That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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