I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just high enough for therapy.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
