what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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