Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
