nut hugger
I cannot find my penis.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
