So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
