3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
