dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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