we made out on top of his cat.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
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The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
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It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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