lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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