SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
