Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
