Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
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fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
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I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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