we're blogging at a bar
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
