so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
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Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
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Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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