i always forget guys have bellybuttons
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
There are leaves in my underwear?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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