We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
