Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize