in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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