im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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