Someone shit on the floor
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
